Hello, my darlings, Welcome to Episode 87, Part Six of our continuing conversation on Conscious Celibacy and Conscious Sexuality—having exited the Matrix—that is No Longer Following and adhering to any automated scripts and behaviours—of Sexual enslavement/abuse or the relationship dysfunction hell of the war of the sexes of the masculine and feminine or men and women, or any other Divide & Conquer programs as promulgated by the powers-that-wanna-be within the Matrix.
In this video, I want to again encourage all of you out there, suffering from any sexual dysfunction, or sexual insecurity, or self-proclaimed sex addiction, secret or not-so-secret, to bust a move and enter into a Conscious Celibacy Practice. My main motivation for Conscious Celibacy was mainly to reduce my PTSD load from my physical body, cellular memory, nervous system, energy bodies—etheric-mental-causal-karmic-emotional.
Because all trauma and abuse are psychological and physiological, trauma-based mind control is complicated to heal; therefore, psychological intervention is not sufficient. Most of these modalities are promulgated by experts within the Matrix, and therefore subject to Script within the Matrix—actual healing of Trauma—Sexual abuse and otherwise—is a guaranteed SHITSHOW that fails.
I’ve been fortunate and blessed with mentors and healers, specifically focused on and masterful in dissolving/clearing the emotional-energetic toxicity of sexual assault on all levels. These healers were quite adept at waltzing in and out of the Matrix—fully conscious of the distortions within the Matrix, particularly when it comes to sex enslavement and the inherent Victim-Perpetrator polarity loop.
My process brought me down some very dark rabbit holes in my quest for the Rites of Purification I needed to undertake to free myself of Sexual Enslavement and the cellular memory of years of repressed and not-so-repressed Sexual Abuse. I had contrasting experiences with sex. I was often perplexed by a sudden flood of anxiety and terror and reactionary flinching with individual partners and activities. One moment I was immersed in pleasure and opened utterly—then the next moment I was going down a trauma spiral; my PTSD fully activated where I’d catch myself brandishing a knife, ready to defend myself from physical harm.
I suffered deep trauma from years of regular sexual assault and brutal, insensitive sexual partners. The trauma was trapped within my cells and made me its prisoner, leaving me disconnected from any touch.
So why bother??
I was aware of my aversion. I often dissociated during any sexual activity; kissing included. Yet, I had the desire to be loved and adored and be in love and experience lovemaking and passion and pleasure and give pleasure.
So, I made the conscious decision to STOP all sexual activity to sort myself out. The process was long and painful, but a necessary journey for healing. The many benefits I gained empowered me beyond measure. By utilising my sexual trauma as a gateway to waking up, I am now able to effectively facilitate the healing, awakening, and empowerment of survivors of sexual assault. I have also systemised my methodology into a clear and concise Energy Healing modality that facilitates the alignment of Heart-Mind-Body-Soul—all of which can only occur outside of The Matrix.
That's my speech, my loves. We will continue on with our conversation regarding Conscious Sexuality--Out of the Matrix.